Caregiving requires self-care

I do believe, without even thinking about it, that those with big hearts tend to forget life as we have known it and we “hyper focus” on those in need or those on the brink of mortality to the extent of us ceasing to exist. It becomes all about the “center of focus” for the “empath.”

What I have seen or heard without fail is that the caregiver ends up “succumbing” (by losing their health, quality of life or life) long before the care recipient.

Pictured is Lisa Parkstone, Jody Johnson Godfrey’s daughter, and Jacqueline Johnson, Jody’s mother. (Photo submitted by Jody Johnson Godfrey)

The quick, immediate and common sense “fix” for this is for there to (always) be two alternate caregivers as sometimes the alternative caregiver can have things come up and need time off, so there must be a backup FOR the backup!

Symptoms of single caregiver burnout are as follows:

1) Persistent fatigue (despite rest)

2) Irritability

3) Social withdrawal

4) Sleep disruption

5) Neglected personal health

6) Loss of interest in activities or hobbies

7) Resentment toward the care recipient

8) Hopelessness

9) Shortened temper

10) Loss of all motivation

11) Resorting to substance abuse

All of the above can be exaggerated or prolonged if a family member has (without a choice) to step up and take over when it had not been expected or anticipated. There are a few things we can consciously plan to do that will alleviate burnout.

●      Be sure to seek support from friends or the public sector; don’t be too proud to accept help from any direction.

●      Utilize respite care as you have access.

●      Prioritize YOUR health needs; don’t be in denial about them.

●      Routinely play soothing (to you) music in the house.

●      Bring your favorite “pick dip” snacks to sustain physical and mental energy.

●      Keep a journal and chronicle the sweet moments along with ideas you may come up with to improve your situation or your caregiving.

●      Your patient has to sleep, so, during that time, do something for yourself that creates joy.

The people most prone to getting themselves into the caregiving are what we refer to as “empaths.” As the saying goes, “Too much of a good thing can morph into a very bad thing (for the empath). All things in moderation are the key, and you must love yourself as much as you do others.

There may already be a national caregivers’ day, but if not, there definitely needs to be as it takes a very special person for this job. These angels, whether they fill short gaps or long durations, make the last days easier or bearable for those in the fourth quarter of the ballgame. Take care of yourselves!