Reflections: What if we change the context?

I was blessed to have a great Thanksgiving weekend, with many reasons to be thankful. On Thanksgiving Day, our youngest son joined my husband and me in volunteering at Elevate Branson’s Thanksgiving dinner, a wonderful opportunity to meet and encourage neighbors while being encouraged ourselves. On Friday, we enjoyed dinner with our daughter and son-in-law, before heading out of town for weekend time with our older son and his family. And yes, I’m thankful we made it home ahead of the snow! 

That said, some people’s holiday was likely less pleasant. I know several for whom it was the first Thanksgiving after the death of a parent, spouse, or other significant person. Others are experiencing health issues, and one friend was recently injured in a car crash on slick roads. 

That’s why I was intrigued by Dr. Jim Denison’s column about being thankful even during hard things. Dr. Denison referred to an article several years ago by New York Times columnist David Brooks, citing research showing it is better to tackle negative behaviors by redirecting attention toward positive ones rather than condemning yourself if you don’t feel thankful. “Don’t try to bludgeon [your] bad behavior,” Brooks advised. “Change the underlying context.” As an example, he suggested that while it is disappointing to be in the hospital, one can be thankful that hospitals exist and care is available. 

Dr. Denison gave examples of successfully applying this advice during his own tough times—the loss of his father, a child diagnosed with cancer. While being thankful did not change the circumstance, it helped redirect the focus toward the faithfulness of God. My friend who experienced the car accident is applying that principle: The paramedics told her they were shocked to find her alive as they approached the vehicle, but she is thankful for trained first responders! She is also thankful for good doctors, caring family and relationships being strengthened between those praying for her. 

My own hospital thankfulness experience occurred 17 years ago. I was not happy about being diagnosed with colon cancer, maybe even a little annoyed with God because I thought I was eating healthy and doing the right things. Rolling down the corridor to surgery prep, my mind spun with questions. 

Following the surgery, I was told it was a success; I was recovering nicely, when suddenly, my blood pressure and other vitals plummeted. I remember monitor alarms sounding, the nurse calling for a doctor to come immediately, and my oldest son standing by helplessly with a horrified look on his face. And all of a sudden, I thought, “Wow! There’s an emergency, and nobody expects me to fix it! This is GREAT!” and I started to laugh! As I did, the signals began returning to normal! 

In retrospect, my hilarity was likely impacted by pain medicine and my concerns upon diagnosis that my family might self-destruct without me (any Supermoms relate?), but it also illustrates that laughter really is good medicine. And it has served for years to remind that I’m occasionally going to find myself in a situation I didn’t want to be in and can’t fix, but God isn’t surprised.  

Back to this year, a friend said she was sad that her daughter wasn’t home for Thanksgiving—but thankful for the reason: That daughter is living successfully in recovery from addiction, and was asked to share her story at a special event. Another friend, widowed last year, was thankful for the opportunity to encourage another recent widow. 

The Apostle Paul reminds us, “In everything give thanks” (I Thess. 5:18). By shifting the focus to the unchanging context of God’s faithfulness, we can, as Mr. Brooks suggested, reshape our behavior by changing the context.