Abuse vs. narcissism

October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month.  By now, pretty much everyone is aware of this insidious “evil.” This is merely my opinion, but I fervently believe that as well as parents educating children on this disorder, it needs to be tackled in the schools.

Of course, the root of domestic violence is narcissism, so that, in itself, must be taught so as to easily recognize the signs. The problem with this is that a diabolical mind that is disciplined can “turn their behaviors off” long enough to catch their prey! We have to teach our children how to (secretly, if need be) flush out the true character PRIOR to an established relationship or marriage. Some of the signs of narcissism are as follows:

1) Narcissists demand attention on them, always.

2) Narcissists try to kill our spirits, anyway they can devise.

3) Narcissists come “unglued” if you challenge them—if you tell them they are wrong with proof.

4) Narcissist deflect blame—ALWAYS.

5) Narcissists will do whatever is necessary to stifle creativeness or altruistic aspirations.

6) Narcissists give you the constant feeling that you are beneath them all (less in every way).

7) Narcissists can and will inflict physical pain as well as mental cruelty on a regular basis.

8) You will notice a lot of hypocritical behaviors with a narcissist.

9) Narcissists seem to worship dictators and pattern themselves after such personalities.

10) Narcissists are NOT empathetic.

11) Narcissists seek attention and want to be admired by all.

12) Narcissists want to be seen as superior even if they have no achievements to show for it.

13) Narcissists have grandiose fantasies about being successful, beautiful and powerful.

14) Narcissists believe that everyone envies them.

15) Narcissists are arrogant, conceited and believe they deserve only the best of everything.

16) They are entitled so they often feel deprived and disappointed when they aren’t given special attention, favors and admiration they assume they deserve.

17) Narcissists are exploitive and manipulative to get what they want.

According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula (author of multiple best sellers on this subject), narcissism is very much viewed as a disorder of inflated self-esteem and grandiosity. It is those things, but in fact, it is a disorder of self-worth. People with narcissism are often the most insecure people in the room, and they have established a way of showing themselves as anything but; they often look like the most confident person in the room, but there is a huge emptiness within them.”

I am not addressing the ones who dish out the physical abuse here as that seems to be a “no-brainer” as you leave them. You utilize the organizations and friends that can facilitate this.

It is the subtle, sneaky narcissists that I’m hoping to flush out and get our youngsters to become hyper aware of all their behaviors. Adults, as well, can be educated about narcissists as they just literally drain the life out of the living. God gives life, and he did not mean for us to enter this world for the purpose of living a life VOID of production and of not using His gifts He so generously bestowed upon us all.

Our collective goal should be for our youngsters to immediately recognize narcissistic behaviors, to be able to call it out to the offender, and for the victim to say: “This is narcissistic behavior and I don’t do it!”