Reader’s Corner: Keep it shut

Anyone else ever buy a nonfiction book that looks super-relatable, and then somehow manage to bury it, not just for a few weeks or months but for a few years? Well, I did. 

Several years ago, a ministry I follow recommended a Bible study based on the book “Keep It Shut,” by Bible teacher Karen Ehman. The special price also included a study guide, and the topic seemed very timely, given the subtitle “What to Say, How to Say It, and When to Say Nothing at All.” Having been told by at least one of my adult kids that my spiritual gift is sarcasm, I had already been trying to tone down my level of engagement on certain types of social media posts; and as a writer, I also knew I needed to improve my listening skills in order to find the wonderful stories often hidden in ordinary people doing everyday things. 

I bought the book. But life kept happening, including additional grandkids, and the book literally got buried. It resurfaced recently as I did some long-overdue sorting; and given the current political climate, world events and increased opportunities for interaction in person and online, I knew I needed to move it to the top of the stack. 

Ehman is bluntly honest about her own missteps—social blunders in middle school and continuing into adulthood; her tendency to keep talking to “fill the gap” rather than pausing for others to think or speak, and more. She also tackles situations we all face: a rude co-worker; that one relative we try to avoid at family gatherings; gossip disguised as a really awkward prayer request. And there’s an entire chapter on “Controlling Your Digital Tongue.” 

Thank goodness, though, the book offers encouragement and practical advice from a great source: The Bible. Each chapter and subtopic is bathed in Scripture, starting with James’ description of the power of the tongue and pulling suggestions from the Psalms, Proverbs, historical books and the other epistles. It reminds me of the “seek first to understand” advice from Stephen Covey’s popular “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” but with scripture references. Like Covey, Ehman says that while it’s certainly not always wrong to speak up, how and when one does so are key. 

Trust me, you need this book! Even though it was published several years ago, it’s still easily found on major online booksellers. As we navigate the challenging times we live in, finding ways to communicate with grace is a skill in which we can all use improvement.