On the darkest night, stars still shine, though we may not always see them

Those who read the Ole Seagull’s columns regularly know that he often turns to Abraham Lincoln’s quotes for inspiration and comfort. This week, two friends lost a loved one, and the Ole Seagull, realizing his shortcomings, turned to Lincoln again for his wisdom, eloquence and inspiration for words of comfort. The result is the paraphrasing of a letter written by Lincoln, on May 25, 1861, to comfort Fanny McCullough, the daughter of his long-time friend William McCullough, who lost his life in action during the Civil War. It’s shared with the hope that it will bring comfort to my friends and all of us who have lost or are losing a loved one.

My Dear Friends,

In the depths of your sorrow, I reach out to you with words that may seem inadequate in the face of such profound loss. Yet, I am compelled to offer what comfort I can, for I have known the bitter sting of grief that now pierces your heart.

… In this sad world of ours, sorrow comes to all; and to the young, it comes with bitterest agony, because it takes them unawares. The older have learned to ever expect it. I do not mock your grief by suggesting that time will swiftly heal this wound. No, my dear friends, the path ahead is long and often dark. But I implore you to take heart, for even in the darkest night, stars still shine, though we may not always see them.

Your loved one’s life was a beacon of courage and integrity. Let their memory be a guiding light in the days to come. When the weight of loss feels unbearable, remember the strength they instilled in you. You are their legacy, carrying forward the virtues they held dear.

It may seem impossible now, but I assure you that joy will find you again. Not to replace what you have lost, for that can never be, but to remind you that life persists, even in the shadow of death.

They would want you to live fully, to honor their memory not just with tears, but with laughter, love and the pursuit of all that is good and noble.

In the quiet moments, when grief threatens to overwhelm, recall the sound of their voice and the warmth of their embrace. These memories are precious gifts that death cannot take from you. They are the threads that will keep you connected to them, even as you move forward in a world changed by their absence.

…As you navigate this difficult journey, remember that grief is not a straight path. There will be days when the sun seems a little brighter, and others when the darkness feels all-consuming. Both are natural, and both are necessary. Allow yourself to feel without judgment, to heal at your own pace.

…In closing, my dear friends, know that you are not alone in your grief. Though the days ahead may seem insurmountable, you carry within you the strength of their spirit. May you find comfort in cherished memories, solace in the love of those around you, and hope in the promise of brighter days to come.

With deepest sympathy and enduring friendship,

A. Lincoln