Give out some verbal sunshine today

“Spoken words of praise and thanks have the power to dissipate the spirit of heaviness that can cling to you like a wet blanket,” wrote Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.

There are many ways we can encourage another, but I believe that a sincere compliment packs a punch.

When I was in the 9 to 5 workaday world, for several years I saved every written compliment I received in an envelope in my top desk drawer. I could pull out that envelope when I felt discouraged, and it provided a lift to my confidence.

After I wrote my first book and received favorable feedback on it – you guessed it – I collected and saved some of those remarks too. Naturally, I did the same with my second book. It’s not a lack of confidence anymore but affirmation that “Someone is reading this, and God is using this to touch or help someone” – and that means all the world to me. Their comments spur me to keep writing.

Why are we so lax in giving out compliments? I think we often have good inclinations but don’t act on them. I remember thinking on my way home from a restaurant I was so impressed with how that employee handled a tough situation; why didn’t I say something to him? Another time it crossed my mind, too late, I admire how Sandy was such a good listener today and made the other person feel important. I should have told her so.

It only takes a moment to praise someone in person or on the phone, or to dash off a note, text or email – but what an impact it might have on the individual! That one accolade may put the wind back in their sails, perhaps even boosting them to persevere with something they were about to give up on.

Compliments can change the direction of someone’s life. I was a kid who honestly thought God left me out when He handed out talents. If a high school English teacher hadn’t praised my writing I never would have pursued studying journalism.

Every compliment is generally welcome, but I think if we get specific and elaborate a bit, it becomes even more meaningful to the recipient. Mark Twain said “I can live two months on a good compliment.”

Atharva Veda calls compliments “verbal sunshine.” And you never know just how gloomy the other person’s day might have been up to that point.

The Bible speaks to this as well. In I Thess. 5:11 (NIV) Paul said “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” And in Eph. 4:29 (NIV) he wrote “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Among the wisdom in Proverbs, we find this: “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and healing to the bones.” (16:24, NIV).

By the way, when you are on the receiving end of a compliment, just say “thank you.” Many people have trouble receiving compliments. It took me many years to learn this, but I was told that if I downplay it or even dismiss it, the person who gave me the compliment may feel that I am brushing off both their opinion and their thoughtfulness.

So, avoid mere flattery which can be for your own gain. Instead, lift someone’s spirits today with an unselfish but genuine compliment. You can do it!