Reflections: Are my words uplifting or inflammatory?

One of my Scripture studies this week was Ephesians 4:29, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV). With fairly strict parents and an even stricter church community as a child, I usually heard that verse used following what someone said when they hit their thumb with the hammer, or a couple of times when I tried out a phrase I heard from older kids on the school bus. 

More recently, though, I’ve been studying it in the context of other New Testament writers, who wrote to encourage the early Church in their Christian walk in a pagan culture. Some versions translate the Greek word for “unwholesome” as “harmful,” “corrupt,” or “corrupting,” the same word used for rotting fruit. 

Before Jesus’ crucifixion, resurrection and ascension to heaven, He prayed for his followers to be in unity as they shared the Gospel message (John 17). Paul wrote to the young pastor Timothy, “The goal of our instruction is the love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience and a sincere faith” (1 Tim. 1:5). James, the Lord’s brother, wrote to Christians, “. . . Consider how small a spark sets a great forest ablaze. The tongue also is a fire, a world of wickedness among the parts of the body. It pollutes the whole person. . . .” (3:5-6). 

I don’t know about you, but I truly don’t want to be inflammatory, polluting, corrupting or rotting, although today’s world offers plenty of opportunities to speak in those ways! I’m not anti-social media—I enjoy being connected to family and friends—but I’ve had to limit people and pages I follow because some posts and comments are anything but uplifting. Being blessed with a bent toward sarcasm, I have to ask God for guidance about when and whether to jump in on a conversation: Can I actually contribute something helpful? As a First 5 study writer recently put it, am I saying something because I can, or because I should? 

In-person encounters can also be a temptation when someone is venting or obviously upset. As Christian believers, we need to avoid responding in kind, especially when we don’t know the circumstances. We can ask questions first, and if correction or offering context really is in order, we can seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance about when and how to do it. 

Jesus spoke often to his disciples about fruit, and in that context, He told them, “. . . men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken” (Matt. 12:33-36). Fortunately, the Bible also encourages us in Galatians 5 that it is possible, as we grow in our faith, to develop the right kind of fruit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (22-23). Allowing the Holy Spirit to develop the right fruit in us will help ensure that our speech is uplifting, not corrupting or inflammatory.