Out of the mouths of babes: Cute, funny and heartwarming quotes from kids

COMPILED BY TIFFANY GRAVETT

Little Doug wanted to watch a cartoon downstairs, so he started picking up his numerous blankies to take with him. I started picking them up as well, to help carry them downstairs and he said: “No Mom! I’m a BIG MISTER MAN! I can do it myself.” Me: “Well, okay then.” He gets to the top of the stairs and I can’t even see his face for the pile of blankies he is carrying and I hear a muffled voice say: “Mom, can you carry me down?” Me: “I thought you were a Big Mister Man?” Little Doug’s muffled voice: “Well. . . maybe I’m a LITTLE Mister Man.” –age 3 (The Wisdom of Little Doug, Cami Behl, 2022)

***

My 10-year-old son after injuring his knee: “I can’t even break dance now, bro.”

***

Me to my 4-year-old son: “Samuel, I don’t understand why Jeremiah gets so angry.”

Samuel: “He doesn’t like the people in this city. And me think he needs to love God better.” 

***

“There’s a mosquito hopper in the playroom Mom!” -Danny (3), after seeing a grasshopper.

***

My husband, David, and our 8-year-old boys were driving home in a bad storm late one night. The boys were scared and crying. David said, “There’s lightning everywhere, and Jeremiah is calling on the Holy Ghost.”

***

Little Doug loves learning about the Presidents. His two favorites so far are George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. Today in social studies they had a picture of Abraham Lincoln. I pointed to it and said: “Who is that?” Little Doug: “Hammerhead Lincoln!” I gave him a weird look. Little Doug: “What, Mom? it sounds cooler than Abraham.” –age 5 (The Wisdom of Little Doug, Cami Behl, 2022)

***

We were having dinner and I gave the kids napkins for plates. My husband says, "We are going to eat off of napkin plates like God intended. That's why he made them on the 7th day." 

Kaylee (10) turns to him and says, "Actually, God rested on the 7th day. I pay attention in children's church.”

***

4-year-old boy: Momma, I don’t want to wear my seatbelt!

Mom: Oh, son, you have to or the police will give Momma a ticket!

4-year-old boy: What’s a ticket?

Mom: Well, it’s kind of a spanking for not obeying the rules!

4-year-old boy when Dad gets home from work: Dad, the police gave Momma a spanking today!