Every parent must face the time when the opportunity to nurture a son or daughter is over. For some parents, this is the time when the parent says goodbye to the world and realizes the children are left to fend on their own without Mom or Dad’s help. However, some parents experience the sad time when a child leaves his/her life on earth before the parents. Either way, the time for teaching and nurturing the child is over and the parents have done all they can do.
As I sit here at the computer and write this column, my family is in the process of saying goodbye to our second son. We are planning the final time when the family can be together at the graveside to remember the good times in our son’s life. Thoughts naturally go to the positive things, but I suppose every parent asks the haunting question, “Have I done all I could have done for my child?” We further contemplate about what mistakes we made and what was done right. I’m sure that every parent can think of both mistakes and positive accomplishments, for there is no such thing as a perfect parent.
The Bible tells us that children are a gift from God. When we accept that gift, we also accept many responsibilities along with it. Some parents are conscientious about trying to meet those responsibilities; others want to slough off those responsibilities to someone else. God holds us accountable for our efforts in training up a child in the way it should go. He does not hold us accountable for the choices the child makes. Ultimately, each of us is responsible for self regardless of how we were raised.
When the death of either a parent or child occurs, we are faced with the reality that life is truly short. Life is simply a preparation time for eternity after life. The apostle, Paul, told us that if our hope is in this world only, we are of all men most miserable. It is natural to grieve at the loss of a loved one. Services for those who die are a time for taking account of the passing of time and realizing that we each must face that time of departure at some point. It is a reminder to make every minute count. There is no time to waste. There will come a time when every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. We need to do everything we can to be ready to meet our maker and to help our children to be ready to meet their maker as well.
I am reminded of Jesus’ words on the cross when he said, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.” In the end, the spirit of each of us goes into our Father’s loving hands. Thankfully, we serve a God who is just and loving. As our family says goodbye to our son, we can count on God as the spirit of our loved one goes into His hands. Knowing that we have a loving and just God is a real comfort.
Note: I wrote this column a few years ago. I thought it should be brought to the attention of other parents who might have lost a child as we would say, "Before its time."
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