Breakfast at Tiffany’s: Thriving families

…. choose you this day whom ye will serve…. but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

Love and commitment within a home—first to God and then to each other—are key components to a thriving family. Jesus said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:37-39, King James Bible). In an article entitled, “You Can’t Give to Others What You Don’t Already Have,” Gary Smalley said, “When you love God with every part of your being, He fills you up to overflowing with His amazing love. Out of that overflow, you give to others. This is the balanced life, the only kind of life worth living.”^[1] On the other hand, when families lack these key components, it can leave them drained and unable to minister to others effectively.

Discontent can be a tool that the enemy uses to destroy families by keeping them focused on themselves, what they lack, and how those closest to them are to blame. Once a family member jumps on this deadly roller coaster, it can leave their head spinning in deceptive disillusionment. However, Paul said that there is great gain to having godliness with contentment (1 Tim. 6:6). Contentment is a choice grounded in obedience, and godly love involves the choice to lay down one’s life like Jesus did (1 John 3:16). Ajith Fernando said, “Obedience is the key that opens the floodgates of God’s love. There is no shortage of love in God, as we have said, but we can block its flow by disobedience. Christian love is decisive.”^[2]

Families must make a concentrated effort to recognize when discontent starts to slip in and to, as Barney Fife used to say, “nip it in the bud.” Instead of focusing on each other’s faults, family members should emphasize praiseworthy attributes, asking themselves, “What can I do today to show my family members I love them?” God can then use this process to open the floodgates of love in their hearts.

Fernando said, “One of the most obvious signs of the primacy of God in the Christian home is prayer. Yet prayer usually does not happen naturally. We must make it happen.” Good intentions often wither away into forgetfulness. Therefore, rather than simply taking time to pray, families should make time to pray together and individually. One thing I have done recently to encourage and enhance my personal devotion time is to set up a specific spot in my home with a couch, a bookshelf, and a small table. On the shelf I have some of my favorite study Bibles, prayer journals and Christian reading material. The time I spend there has become so precious as the Holy Spirit guides me into deeper paths of understanding and communion with God. I have also become increasingly aware during these times of how I am to biblically interact with others (and of how I haven’t been biblically interacting with them). This extra attention to communing with the Lord personally has overflowed into my family life in ways I never could have imagined. I pray that you, too, will see the benefits of choosing Godly love and commitment that faithfully declares with Joshua, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15b).

^[1] Gary Smalley, “You Can’t Give to Others What You Don’t Already Have,” Focus on the Family, September 10, 2015. Retrieved from https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/you-cant-give-to-others-what-you-dont-already-have/

^[2] Ajith Fernando, The Family Life of a Christian Leader (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2016), 27.