Breakfast at Tiffany’s: Saved by the search

Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

While on the phone with customer service over some medical bills recently, I found myself getting frustrated with the young lady on the other end because she didn't know exactly what she was doing and wasn't understanding me like the other representatives I've spoken to in the past. To be completely honest, I judged her pretty quickly. Isn't it crazy how in certain situations—often when interacting with people in customer service—many of us feel we have the prerogative to react differently than we would in a regular situation? We think things like, "If I don't fight for myself, no one will." Or "The only way to get through to those people is to raise my voice." And we feel 100% justified in our actions.

That day, however, the Holy Spirit’s gentle squeeze upon my heart squelched whatever deceptive justification I had previously laid claim to. He showed me the young lady on the other end, trying to keep her composure as she frantically searched the computer program for the correct page I was inquiring about.

Maybe she had recently been hired and wasn't familiar with her job yet. Maybe she had already dealt with a slew of disgruntled customers before my call. Maybe she wasn't as qualified as she'd hoped she would be but desperately needed the income to provide for her family. But even if none of those scenarios were true, would it really matter? Not in God's eyes.

Suddenly, I found myself holding back tears instead of anger. As I listened to this young lady's voice on the other end of the phone—a person I have never met and probably never will—I loved her deeply. It wasn't a love of my own, but of a heavenly Father whose love for humanity is beyond comprehension. I couldn't bear the thought that I had reacted harshly to others like her in the past. When I made Jesus my Lord, I forfeited the right to show anything but love to other human beings. Period.

When the phone call was over, I was thankful that God had stopped me in my tracks before being a horrible representative of him that day. I started thinking about what a gift it is when God searches the hearts of his children and points out what does not please him. Of Psalm 139:1, Charles Spurgeon said:

‘O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.’ This is a psalm we can never read too often. It will be to us one of the greatest safeguards against sin if we have its teaching constantly before our mind’s eyes. The teaching of this psalm is simply this: “You, God, see me.” Rather than a psalm about omniscience, David makes a personal application of the universal truth. He does not talk about God’s knowledge of other men, but he speaks to God concerning himself. Here David says, “You have searched me as if you were looking for contraband goods. You have ransacked me. You have gone down into my heart and have spread out every secret part of my being. The most intricate labyrinths of my spirit are all observed by you. Your search has been an effective one. You have read the secrets of my soul.

Though God’s searching of us can be painful at times, it is also a merciful saving of us from ourselves. When the Lord removes the cords of sin that so easily entangle us, he is removing the obstacles that have kept us from drawing close to him. To the child of God, the understanding that he sees us “will become a cause of joy to reflect that our best friend is never away from us—that our protector’s hand is never removed, that the great observant eyes of divine love are never closed.”

KJV Spurgeon Study Bible (Holman Bible Publishers, 2018), 671.