Breakfast at Tiffany’s: God’s character [part 5]: Loyal love

“The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands…” Exodus 34:6b-7a

Have you ever been in a relationship that seemed too good to be true in the beginning only to find out later on that you were right? Initially, the person made you feel safe and important, showering you with gifts, praise and attention. However, once they had won you over, they started withholding those grand gestures leaving you starved for attention and wondering what happened—feeling as though you are to blame for their sudden lack of love? This behavior is a form of psychological and emotional abuse called “love bombing.” Over time, this behavior can leave a person feeling confused, insecure and fearful of building future relationships with others.

“The love bomber’s ultimate goal is not just to seek love, but to gain control over someone else. Over time, those grand gestures are an effort to manipulate you and make you feel indebted to and dependent on them,” says psychologist Alaina Tiani, PhD (health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing).

Many people think that God’s love is the same way, especially if they have fallen victim to this type of destructive behavior. They hear about how loving and merciful God is but assume that as soon as they “slip up” he will withdraw his blessings and abandon them to hell. Let me assure you that the love of God does not resemble abuse. The study of His character throughout Scripture gives us a clear understanding of God’s loving behavior toward humanity.

A Hebrew word frequently used in Scripture to describe God’s character is chesed. It is a noun indicating kindness, lovingkindness, mercy, goodness, faithfulness, love and acts of kindness. God’s chesed is not just something he does—it is who he is by nature. God tells Moses in this passage that He is not only abundant in chesed, but that he also keeps (natsar: to guard, maintain, preserve, or protect) it: “…abundant in chesedand truth, keeping (natsar) chesed for thousands.” That means that God’s love is loyal and steadfast. He doesn’t shower us with lovingkindness in order to tease us, confuse us, or control us. He does it because it is simply who he is, and he is “the same yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).

Matthew Henry said, “Every perfection in the name of God, the believer may plead with Him for.” The David of the Bible was an expert at this. He also had a lot of experience with abusive people who only showed him kindness because they wanted something from him. The following prayer is evidence of this: “Withhold not thou thy tender mercies from me, O Lord: let thy lovingkindness (chesed) and thy truth continually preserve (natsar) me” (Psalm 40:11) As God preserves his lovingkindness toward us, his lovingkindness also preserves us. David was exceedingly familiar with God’s character—not only from experience but from his knowledge of Scripture. Even when he didn’t feel it, he knew it was true because “God is not a man, that he should lie” (Numbers 23:19). We, too, can plead with God for every perfection in His name, resting in the knowledge that He not only preserves his lovingkindness, but that His lovingkindness preserves those who fully trust in Him.